Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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