OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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