He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize