I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We're not piercing ourselves today.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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