how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
