Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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