great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
