I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
