I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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