Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
