office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
birth control should be required to get into college
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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