I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
