Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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