Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
