Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hippo gnu deer
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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