just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize