she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
