btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
