I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
