laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize