Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
