But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
