I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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