Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
