Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm sobbing to NWA
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
