Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
