Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
