I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
