I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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