using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
