I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It's Friday. Sex?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
