4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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