I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
