I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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