Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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