just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
