it glows. i had to have it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
my liver is dry heaving
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
