How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
