he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
