It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
