I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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