worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
