I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
