It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Dick very happy bro
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
