life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
