guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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