let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i used baking grease as lip gloss
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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