now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
40s are totally the cure
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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