Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Randomize
