A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize