i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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