That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
