I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
what day is it and did you see me today?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
