how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
