I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
