Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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