You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I touched a dick in church today
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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