His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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